The Despair of Moria
by Samwise the Strong
Summary: This is my dark Fili and Kili pre-quest but somewhat movie-verse fic. Fili and Kili find themselves prisoners of the orcs of Moria as young dwarves. Will they survive this harrowing event in their lives, or succumb to grief and pain? Rated "M" for sexual content, some of which might not be consensual. We shall see.
1. Chapter 1

The Despair of Moria

Here's my really dark fic. Then I really have to stop writing fan fics and do some serious writing, haha. Figure I might as well write this one. Rated "M" for when things go crazy, and they shall. If you like it, dislike it, or anything in between, let me know. Leave a review and tell me what you think. And yes this is pre-movie yet movie-verse haha. Here we go...And I own nothing...No literally, nothing. So if you sue me, you get my share of nothing. Yay you!

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Many years ago, in the dwarves bid to reclaim Moria after their loss of Erebor, Azog the Defiler was terribly maimed by the Dwarves, Dain Ironfoot and Thorin Oakenshield. Oakenshield was responsible for most of his pain, having taken his arm. Since that day, Azog had wanted revenge against both dwarves. For years he had languished in Moria, waiting for the time to come when he would have that revenge. However, it did not seem forthcoming.

Then, opportunity came to him. The goblins of the Misty Mountains had brought him a present. Not Thorin Oakenshield, but perhaps the next best thing. The goblin had brought him two young dwarves which they threw at his feet. At first, Azog was baffled, for what did he want with two random dwarflings?

"What do I want with these?" Azog asked as he looked down at the two young dwarves who huddled together at his feet. They had already suffered much, bruised and weary. The goblins had apparently been thorough, with the dwarves, and yet had not damaged them to the extreme. While what he could see of both faces held defiance, it was clear that one dwarf was almost spent and the other was desperate to protect him.

"They are the family of one you most want to destroy." One of the goblins said.

Azog lifted an eyebrow, such as it was. He was curious now. "You mean Oakenshield?"

"Indeed! We caught them with others as they passed through Eregion. They are his nephews we believe."

"His nephews?"

"Yes. A few beatings and a few threats used against both of them, and we got all the information we needed. The blond one is Oakenshield's heir."

"Is that so?" Azog said with a somewhat sadistic smile. "I suppose you want something for them.?"

"Tell me, my lord, is there any mithril left within these halls?"

"I will give it to you, as much as I can muster." Azog looked down at the two huddling dwarves. "You belong to me now."

Fili had always protected his little brother Kili. From everything since the day that he could, it was simply what he did. However, given the current situation, it was hard to protect his little brother, to get the younger dwarf what was necessary while attempting to shield him as well. Plainly put, it was getting to be a hassle. At one point he told Kili not to speak at all, as it seemed that his words were getting them into more and more trouble. For several days now, Kili had done what he had been told and had kept almost completely silent, Fili being the one to speak for them. Fili was beginning to wonder if Kili was now doing it merely to piss him off, as they hadn't spoken to each other in all those days either, Kili choose complete mutism. Then again, Kili was only fifty-five, and had yet to learn any real wisdom. For Fili it was almost a requirement that he have some wisdom, as he was heir to Thorin, and he had to make a good showing of it sometimes.

Then again, now, in their current situation, he could not find the strength or the mind to conjure wisdom, or in fact anything at all. He and Kili had been shackled and thrown into a tiny cage that, in all truth, would have barely fit one of them in other circumstances. Fili had to wonder if they would survive this. They were alone in the ancient halls of Moria among deadly enemies. If they were going to escape, it would not be easy. Fili had Kili to think about. As long as Kili was alive, he could not leave this place without him. He would never leave Kili alone in a place like this.

Kili had his head resting against Fili's chest. His breathing was slow and even, and for a moment Fili wondered if his brother had fallen asleep. It might be best if he had, as he was on his last legs, and to get some rest would be good for him. However, Kili raised his face up a little bit to look into Fili's eyes. "I'm afraid we might not get out of this, Fili."

"Don't say that! Of course we will." Fili said with faltering confidence.

"I'm glad you're here. I don't know if I could live through this without you."

"We'll be fine, Kili. We'll be just fine. Maybe you should rest. Try to sleep."

"In this place? Surrounded by enemies?"

Fili looked around for a moment. They were locked up in an empty corridor for the moment. "I don't see any enemies at the moment. Neither of us has slept in days. Well not slept, slept. Have a rest Kili. I'll keep an eye out."

"Are you sure?"

"You rest, I'll watch. Probably won't have long though. Sooner or later they're gonna come get us. Then maybe we die, but now we rest. It's alright Kili."

"Alright. Good night Fili."

"Good night Kili."

Kili rested his head back against Fili's chest, and was soon asleep. Fili laid his head back. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he would do as he had always done and take care of things. Especially Kili.

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Just a note: No I don't know The Black Speech, and I am too lazy to look it up cuz it 9:40 at night and I wanna get this done. Anyway, thank you for reading, I hope to hear from you. Will update both recent stories soon!

STS


	2. Chapter 2

The Despair of Moria Chapter 2

Okay getting back into it. If I go too weird or cruel, let me know and I'll stop...Haha. Anyway thanks for the review Celebrisilweth it is much appreciated! Hopefully I can get more of you onboard! Cheers!

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Fili was startled awake when he felt the cage move. He cursed himself for having fallen asleep as well. That was not the issue right at the moment. A couple of orcs had lifted the cage and they were taking them someplace. Kili had woken too, but had not taken his head off of Fili's chest. He might have been trying to hide a little bit, but who could blame him? They were both scared at that point, scared out of their minds, but Fili had to be strong for both of him, so he lifted his arms and kind of placed them over Kili's head in an attempt to shield him from view.

Finally they came out into a large chamber lit with fires. There had to have been thousands of orcs and goblins there, the very scum of Moria. Also standing there was Azog, the enemy of the dwarves' uncle. The one he had told them had died. Apparently Uncle Thorin had been wrong. Fili shuddered a little bit when his eyes met with those of the orc. Kili shifted a little. "What's going on, Fili?"

"I think we are about to become closely acquainted with Azog the Defiler." Fili said.

"Uncle Thorin said he was dead."

"Uncle Thorin was wrong." He said as he held Kili tighter.

The orc did come to them. He had the others open the cage and they pulled Kili out of Fili's arms after some slight protest. The Fili himself was dragged out, and the pale orc stepped forward and reached down, grabbing the young dwarf by the collar of his jacket and hauling him up. Fili didn't struggle, but thought the best course of action was not to back down. So he stared the orc in the face. This staring game went on for some moments. Fili was glad when it was over and he was dropped to the cold, stone floor. Kili crawled over to him.

"Are you alright, Fili?"

"I'm alright."

The orc did not reach to pick up Kili, and left them for a moment. Then something like a smile crossed his scarred face, and he gave an order that the two dwarves did not understand, but it made them wary, as they were now being approached by goblins with knives. Fili didn't know what to do. Chained, unarmed and with Kili to worry about, did it make sense to fight back? Would they kill them so soon already? Fili put himself between Kili and the goblins. He did not see the one coming from behind them who grabbed Kili away from him. Kili cried out, but as Fili turned to help him, he was grabbed from behind as well. Held down by two, he expected to be killed then and there.

However, what happened next was not his death, but mere shearing. All orcs knew that hair had a sense of pride to these dwarves, and to take that away was a great blight. So that was the first thing they took from the two young dwarves. Fili had to let them, for he knew he would only get seriously hurt if he tried to stop it. Kili was not so cooperative, and after a while of struggle, Fili called to him, "lay still! You'll get hurt if you don't let them!"

Kili didn't have much to begin with, but his pride was no less than any other dwarf''s, but in the end he accepted it as well, and when the goblins were done and the two dwarves got to their feet, their heads and faces were a mass of cuts and tufts of hair. Fili was certainly glad that there were no mirrors in that place, or if there were, hopefully he would never find them. Kili would probably have scars on his face, but he would live.

Azog came and stood before them again. He had been speaking with another great orc with somewhat pale skin and had now rejoined the festivities. He seemed proud about what had happens, and it was clear that he was smiling again, if an orc could smile. Then he gave another order, and the dwarves did not know what it was, but it could have been the worst order he ever could have given. Orcs came to escort the two dwarves away, but one was leading Fili back toward the cage and the other was taking Kili elsewhere. Fili didn't know what to do. They were taking Kili away from him. He had to get to Kili! So he fought and struggled and screamed as he heard Kili do the same, but it was no good. Fili was thrown back into the cage, the door locked, as Kili was lead from the chamber. Fili continued to call out Kili's name even well after Kili was well out of hearing range. Fili sank down, covering his head with his hands, and he wept, but somehow he still knew it was not for himself.

Kili was taken, kicking and screaming, to one of the very lowest and darkest places in Moria. It was a mass of caves as opposed to halls of stone, and strange fungi covered the walls. The orcs leading him did not hurt him. They merely forced him along as best they could. It was so very dark, and there were strange creatures around. Kili caught glances of thing, insects that he had never encountered before, shadows that he would rather not meet. There were barely any other orcs or goblins down here, so he wondered why they would bring him to this place?

They stepped down into a tunnel, and the tunnel was lit by a sickly glow that seemed to come from the fungi itself, as well as a few stray glowing crystals. It was incredibly eerie. However, all Kili could think of was Fili, who was now all alone somewhere up above. He had to find a way back to the upper levels and save Fili.

They came to a door of sorts, and an orc that had been following behind them for some time went to it, and pulled it open. On the other side was a cave, large in size with a small pool of water and it was lit by a single glowing crystal in the far corner. They pushed Kili inside and then shoved the "door" closed behind him. He looked around the little cave, and there was nothing other than what he had noticed when he first looked in. The crystal, the pool, a tiny opening above the pool some ways, the big heavy door, a water bucket and another empty bucket, and himself.

Kili looked around for another moment, but seeing that everything was quite hopeless, he went to the center of the floor, and sat with his knees pulled up to his chest as he stared at the door imploringly. He was alone in the dark and he would probably never see his brother again. In that moment, he wept, but still he knew it was probably not for himself.

Okay what do you think? Let me know! Write a review and tell me if I'm barking up the wrong tree. Also I know the shearing of dwarves in an old sort of idea, but I thought it fit. Anyway thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The Despair of Moria Chapter 3

Hello again, my lovelies. Thank you all for reviews and following and what have you. Any feedback I would be most thankful for, as it helps me improve. Thank you so much for reading!

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It had been a few weeks since Fili and Kili had been separated, and Fili was desperate to know where his brother was, if he was even still alive. However, he had problems of his own. At first he had been left in his cage, getting sparse food and water. Basically when ever they had wanted to offer it to him, which was at times that were few and far between. When they finally let him out of the cage, he became the resident punching bag, where they literally passed him around the camp and beat on him until he was out. They didn't use the whip though. Somehow they thought it too conventional. Instead they had found a nice cane to beat him with, which was absolutely great for Fili.

However, this treatment ended somewhat quickly, as Azog came back around and made it absolutely clear that he was the only one allowed to do the dwarf any real damage. And he did at regular intervals, but this didn't mean that the other abuses ceased completely. The other orcs and goblins still beat on him at times. When Azog was around though, he made sure that the orcs remembered that the dwarf was his and his alone.

So he set Fili to work at what he might have thought "dwarf work" was. Fili found himself excavating a chamber all by himself. To say that it almost killed him would be an understatement, as they had him hauling rocks that might have been considered much too heavy for any one dwarf. He did it though. He did it because he had to survive. Had to find some way to escape. He had to find Kili and get out of this place. However it was easier said than done. He had no idea where Kili might be, and he had never studied maps of Moria before, or at least not extensively. He had always been told that dwarves would never go back to that place, so there was little point unless one really wanted to take on scholarly exploits. Fili had never been much of a scholar though.

So he did his work and tried to get what he needed to survive while trying to avoid any punishments, not that they needed much of an excuse to dole them out. One day, he could only assume, He was hauling rocks down a corridor. His mind drifted to thoughts of Kili and where his brother might be in this place. He did remember from some of the maps that there were many levels to Moria, the deepest being the Foundations of Stone. But surely Kili never would have ended up there. What would be the purpose of taking Kili so deep into the mines. Merely to separate them so completely that they could never find each other? He had to wonder.

He didn't see the goblin stick out it's foot to trip him. Fall he did, and the rock flew from his hand and tumbled into an orc standing not too far off. The goblin laughed, the orc was furious and Fili knew what was going to happen next. They took hold of him and made ready to hit him with the cane, but something was different. They laid him on a table on his stomach and pulled his boots off instead. Thne they began beating the bottoms of his feet. To say it was terrible would once again be an understatement, and he found himself screaming soon enough.

When it was over, they took him back to his cage and threw him in, locking the door. One of them said in heavily accented common, "I guess you won't be tripping again any time soon." Again, Fili tried not to weep as he curled in on himself, but he was unsuccessful at this.

The orcs actually paid Kili little mind. They never hurt him, fed him regularly, such as it was, and pretty much left him to his own devices most of the time. He had searched the cave multiple times, and there was no way out. Only the small hole above the pool in the corner. Maybe if he used a rock and struck the edges, he could make the hole bigger! He had thought about and searched for a rock to strike with. There was one at the bottom of the pool and he waded in and got it. But just then, an orc was coming in with water, and seeing him with the rock, he went and wrested it from Kili's hands and gave him a heavy slap to the face. So Kili was denied that chance.

He was so lonely, as no one ever spoke to him. He knew there were at least two guards outside the door, but they were never chatty. Then again, he didn't know if he would want to have a real conversation with an orc. He often wondered where Fili was. What they were doing to him, and if he was getting similar treatment. Was he even alive? Kili banished that thought from his head, as the thought of being truly alone here made him queasy.

He had to wonder though, why were they treating him so well? Why weren't they torturing him and doing other terrible things to him? Were they waiting for him to die of boredom and loneliness? He actually felt like he might, seeing as the only thing he had to do now was pace about his prison and wait...For what? He didn't know exactly. What was happening here? He was more confused than anything, and hoped that whatever was going to happen would happen soon.

And a few weeks after he and Fili had been separated, something did happen. Kili was so tired of being alone, and at this point was actually weeping occasionally over his loneliness. Then the orc came. He was a big, especially ugly orc, who was somewhat pale like Azog. He came into Kili's prison and directly over to the dwarf, who was seated at the back of the cave, staring at the nearby wall. The orc looked down at the dwarf, who peered up at his thoughtfully. Kili did not feel fear for some reason. Maybe all the loneliness has dulled his senses. He peered into the orcs cold eyes, as the orc searched his. The orc then reached down and grabbed the front of Kili's tunic, hauling him up. Kili's focus returned to him and he showed the newly growing fear upon his face as he grasped the hand that held him. He was thrown down in the center of the room, and the orc came for him.

The orcs outside the prison door smiled as they heard the voice of the dwarf as he cried out. Whatever was happening was indeed brutal, and it lasted longer than they might have thought, but when they heard the orc call for the door to be opened, they saw the dwarf, huddled up against the back of the cave weeping, and the orc was readjusting some stray clothes. They closed the door on the distraught dwarf and laughed at his misfortune as they went back to their work of guarding the door.

Even though food and water was offered, Kili did not eat or drink for several days. Instead he just stayed huddled against the wall, staring into nothingness. After some time passed, he began to eat again, but his presence was almost nowhere to be seen. Inside of his head, thoughts danced. _Maybe if I just bit into my wrist, or stuck my head into the pool and inhaled, this would be over. _But these thoughts he had to dismiss as well. He had to survive. He had to find Fili and escape. If he were to die, it would be in this effort. Even this he could survive.

Hello again. Yes that was the non-con and I don't usually write it, but since this is my dark "M" rated story, figured I might as well. Anyway, tell me what you think! Cheers all!


	4. Chapter 4

The Despair of Moria Chapter 4

Hello, and thank you for the follows and favorites and reviews. Really appreciate it, you have no idea. Especially for something like this, as this is a first time writing this sort of thing for me, so thank you so much for reading and commenting. It helps immensely!

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It had been what Kili had assumed was a year, but in all truth, he had no real idea. It felt like it had been that long. As much as he had tried to keep track of things, one "day" seemed to blend into another. Then again, what was day to him now? There was no light, except for the one glowing crystal in the corner next to the pool, which he was endlessly thankful for. They fed him at fairly regular intervals, but who was to say what time of day it really was. Needless to say, Kili was really missing the sun, the trees, the grass, the breeze. Even a little snow would have been welcome, despite the fact that he had no love for snow. Mostly though, he missed people, the company of other dwarves, family. He missed Fili most of all. He had no idea whether or not Fili was still alive. On some occasions he felt really guilty because at those times, he didn't really care.

This was mostly due to the fact that he had his own torment to deal with. Also at regular intervals, his orc tormentor would come to him and take what he wanted when he wanted it. By now, Kili had decided it was best just to let it happen, as there was no stopping it and it was foolish to try. He remembered his thoughts that first time about selfishly wanting to end his pain. They returned to him often, but he could never find it within himself to do it. It was wrong of him to think such things. Or at least that was what he had told himself. He was stronger than that. He had to be strong, because if Fili was still alive, they were going to get out of here together.

So it was best to submit. Let this happen to him for now. Lay upon the floor and let this beast mount him like a common bitch. It was certainly not his fault. It wasn't. He would be forgiven. That was what he thought at first, that he would have to be forgiven. Then it dawned on him that he was not the one who needed to be forgiven, nor would the party that needed to be forgiven ever would be. While he was lost in this situation, it did not mean that he was complicit in it. There was nothing that he needed to be forgiven for. This loathsome orc would one day pay for his crimes, Kili was sure of it.

One day, when Kili was especially lonely, the orc came to him. It was apparent that the orc wanted the usual, but Kili stopped him for a moment. The orc scowled and growled at him, making ready to him him, but Kili said, "wait!"

The orc stopped for a moment and stared at the young dwarf. "I was wondering if I could know your name?" The dwarf asked.

The orc looked at him quizzically. Kili was not sure if the orc understood, so he tried to make himself clear. "Your name?" He pointed to himself. "I am Kili." He pointed at himself again. "Kili." Then he pointed at the orc. "And you...?'

The orc said a few words in his language, but the one that stood out the most was "Bolg".

"Your name is Bolg?" Kili said.

The orc nodded to him.

"Very good. I suppose you want to get down to business, Bolg?"

The orc nodded and pointed over to the spot where they usually coupled. Kili nodded and did as he was told. However, after that day, things did start to change. The orc started bringing him things. At first it was slightly better food (such as it was among orcs), and then blankets on which they could lay, and even cleaner garments for Kili. In exchange, the orc got what he wanted.

That made Kili think one day, was he taking payment for giving pleasure? Was he now complicit in all of this? As these knew thoughts dawned on him, he became physically sick, and spent a good time vomiting that slightly better food up. Now he was not just a bitch, but a whore as well? Now it was his fault, and again, he wondered if he should end himself and save himself the shame. But again, the guilt, the thought of the action being one of cowardice. He told himself that he would only die if it were in an attempt to escape from this place, with Fili. He had to keep to this promise, even if afterward the shame did kill him.

_But can I use this to my advantage? _He thought to himself. Maybe if he was a good whore to the orc, the orc would tell him if his brother still lived, or maybe even allow him some kind of communication. So he continued to give Bolg what he demanded, and then one day he said to the orc as it was about to leave, "Bolg, can you tell me if my brother still lives?"

The orc looked at him quizzically again. At first Kili did not know if the orc had understood, and wondered how he was going to act this out. The orc surprised him though and nodded.

"He lives?!" Kili said with a wide smile and an look of relief. The orc nodded to him.

Kili was about to make the next request, but he had to tread carefully. He did not know how Bolg would react and to anger the orc would be disastrous. He looked deeply into the orc's eyes. "Bolg, may I communicate with him?"

Again the orc gave him a look, and Kili quickly mimed writing. "May I write to him?"

The orc nodded and then left. Kili couldn't help his joy after that meeting, and was ashamedly looking forward to the next visit, for if the orc was true to his word (Kili had some doubts as to this, but the chance was worth it) he would be able to communicate with Fili.

He was especially overjoyed the next time when Bolg was indeed true to his word and allowed Kili some paper and a stick of charcoal (not the best of writing implements, but beggars can't be choosers). On this small slip of paper, Kili wrote one word, and Fili would know exactly what it meant.

Over the year, Fili had learned several things. First of all, one avoided orcs lingering in small group, even here. The chances were that in a group they were more likely to want some fun. He was always the victim of their fun, though it was never sexual, which he thanked the gods of the world for. He hoped that Kili hadn't had to experience that kind of pain. Then again, he was not in a position to know. He didn't even know if Kili was even still alive, and didn't know if they would even bother to tell him if he were not.

The second thing he had learned was to always expect orc to want to sabotage you, as he had learned that time that his feet had suffered so badly. Since then he had kept his focus and had always looked out for the deviousness of orcs. This didn't always save him, but it did more than he thought it would, which saved him a good amount of pain.

The last thing that he had definitely learned was, one always did what Azog wanted when Azog wanted you to. Despite the fact that Azog didn't want him dead just yet, the orc was brutal, and Fili would have scars for the rest of his life, the most severe of them coming from that particular villain. Azog did not hate him, or Kili, but he hated Thorin and Dain, and torturing Fili and Kili was the closest thing that Azog thought he would get to being able to hurt Thorin himself. Fili often thought of Thorin, his mother, the other dwarves in Ered Luin. Mostly though, he thought about Kili and what he was going through. Not knowing was the greatest torture of all.

However, one day, a messenger came from the lower levels. The orc came to Fili and handed him a dirty crumpled piece of paper. He opened it from its folded state, and his eyes widened. There, in Kili's hand writing was one word. Kili was alive! One word that they both knew, and it conveyed everything.

_Fee?_

Sorry is the Fee thing a bad Hobbit fan fic cliché? I have been reading it so often that I just assume its acceptable. Anyway, thanks for reading. Hope to hear from you. If anything here weirds you out or you think it's too much, let me know! Cheers ladies and gents!


	5. Chapter 5

The Despair of Moria Chapter 5

Hello all, and thank you so much for your comments and support! I am glad you like it thus far. Please feel free to keep it going! Cheers guys, here's something a little darker for you, but probably later in the chapter. We shall see. Anyway, here we go!

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_Fee?_

The word was quite clear, and Fili knew exactly what it meant. Only Kili could have written this because the names Fee and Kee belonged only to them. The orcs would not know them, so it was no trick. He studied it for a moment, not sure what to make of it. While he was overjoyed that Kili was alive, he did not understand why he would be granted this privilege. Why had they granted him this special gift? Somehow, this worried him more than anything. How had he gained their favor, how was he keeping it, and what exactly was happening to him. So Fili wrote back to him on the other side of the paper. _Kee? Alright? _They were simply words, but they conveyed all of his worry, and hopefully Kili would understand.

Fili sent it along with the messenger and in all truth, expected not to be allowed anything so soon, but maybe seven or so "days" later, an orc messenger returned and delivered another scrap of paper to Fili, who was being punished presently and was cramped inside his cage. He was allowed to take the paper though and read it. _Fee, hurts. Wanna go home to Uncle and Momma... _Fili was a little surprised by these words. Kili hadn't called Dis Momma in many a long year. While they were still, for all intents and purposes, considered dwarflings, they were both considered more adult that the regular dwarf child. If anything they were on the cusp of being full adults. But the words... Hurts? Definitely he was hurting, and would hurt further before all of this was over, but this was different. The word was one of true despair and possibly more directed toward the self than any outside force.

What was happening to Kili? What would they be doing to him that would fill him with self loathing and a need to hate himself and not them? It was true that Fili was no more than a slave to these creatures, and would probably be used as such until he was either out of there or dead. He had been beaten, dominated, subjugated, but never once did he blame himself for these things. Something was very wrong with Kili. And he hoped that he could save them both before their time inevitably ran out. _Hold on. Home. Soon. _He sent the letter on its way. The words were false hope, but he hoped that Kili would read them and believe them, that they might save his brother for just a little while longer.

Fili and Kili continued to communicate like this for another two years or so. Least ways that was what he believed it had been. As things went on, Fili continued to feed Kili word of hope, despite the fact that there may not have been any. Sometimes Kili would just write back a single word that was neither here nor there. Something from memory that he had dancing in his mind, but that Fili might or might not remember himself. They were often words associated with happier times. Kili was trying to shield his mind from whatever was happening. Fili often reciprocated by saying _I remember. Fun. _Though sometimes he surely did not. However, he found this game somewhat useful himself, as his mind was in need of shielding at times as well.

The pain, the hunger, the humiliation. All of these things were sometimes masked by thoughts of happier times, and living in those times through mere dream. Fili even smiled sometimes as he went about his "work". Occasionally he laughed when the orcs, or even Azog were laying into him. For some reason, this pleased Azog to no end, believing that the dwarf was on the edge of madness. Fili was not mad though. He was simply lost in the joy of the mind's eye. There were still safe places, and this was one of them. Freedom? Maybe...It was not real, but it worked for him.

Yet another year passed, and Fili had learned to live while dying. Kili, on the other hand, seemed to be lost in a haze of self hatred and misery. Fili told him he should learn to find safety within himself. All Kili could say was: T_rying. Trying so hard. Help? _That final word was heart breaking. Fili couldn't help. The only way he could is by doing what he was doing. He had to find a way out. If he could get to the Chamber of Knowledge (he believed it was called) he might be able to find a map and a way to get out. He was no where near that are he supposed though. The first chance he got, he would run. Escape within Moria, find Kili and they find a way out of the mountain. There had to be a way.

Then one day, things changed. Fili received another piece of paper, and opened it excitedly. He was sorry he did, for the letters were written in blood. There was no doubt whose blood it was, as orcs didn't bleed red. There were two words upon it, scrawled in the blood ink. _Fili help! _He dropped the paper, eyes wide with desperation. The orcs who stood around him saw it and knew what he was going to do before he did. He took three running steps, and they tackled him. Then they carried his struggling form to the cage and locked the door. For the second time in his Moria years, he wept for Kili.

Before the bloody note...

Kili wrote to Fili as much as he could, as it was the only joy in his life. He was becoming pale and frail in the darkness, and was endlessly lonely, as nobody spoke to him, Bolg being an orc of few words, and the guards not being allowed. So often he languished alone. This only allowed him time to think. Time to think about how repulsive he had become. How no one could ever love him after this, even if they escaped. Fili, perhaps, but what would Thorin think of his deeds? What would Momma? He did not know if he could ever tell them what befell him if he got out. But he knew due to his lack of physical abuse signs, they would know that he was not merely a punching bag.

So he wrote to Fili about times when things were good. Memories that he had grasped on to from childhood and other such things. He could tell sometimes that Fili was merely indulging him, but that didn't matter to Kili. He was desperate for contact and Fili was a captive audience, so to say. He often wondered if he poured some of his anguish into the simple words he wrote. He could read Fili's concern in the replies he wrote. However, it was only important to Kili that they be allowed to communicate. He didn't care what they communicated about, only that they did.

Things began to change between he and Bolg. The orc became more demanding, and wanted things from Kili. The first time he insisted on the missionary position, Kili was repulsed, but knew he was not strong enough to deny the orc anything. Instead of watching the orc's face as he was violated, he clamped his eyes shut tight throughout, which was okay at first. Then the orc insisted that he open them. At first Kili refused, but a few good beatings insured that he comply. And he did, though he glared and shut them several times throughout anyway.

Then Bolg wanted to try something very, very, different. He sat against the prison wall and called Kili over to him. Kili came to him, not knowing what to expect. The orc indicated that he should sit beside him, and he did. Then Bolg grabbed the back of Kili's head and forced it down into his crotch, and Kili was forced to...Kili was having none of it. Instead of doing what he knew he should, he bit down. The orc cried out and threw him aside, Kili hit the opposite wall hard. The orc jumped upright and ran toward Kili, who had not yet recovered. He picked Kili up and slammed his fist into Kili's face repeatedly. Kili was soon unconscious.

The onslaught wasn't over yet. When he woke, the orc was still there. He savagely defiled Kili, even with his wound. Then he did something unexpected. He called in the two orcs from outside. Kili didn't know what was about to happen, but Bold said something to them. Then Kili knew what was about to happen, something that had never happened before. Bolg had offered Kili to these two orcs. "No, Bolg, please! So sorry! I won't ever again. Please don't!"

But his fate was sealed, and that night, all three of them had him. Still the onslaught was not over, for Bolg took out his knife, and Kili was sure that the orc was going to kill him. The orc pulled up Kili's tunic and started to carve things into his back. And not simple little cuts, but pieces were being cut out as well. He was being marked by the orc, and was really truly his whore now. Then Bolg took the knife with Kili's blood on it and held out a paper. Write to Fili with blood? He was thinking of refusing, but thought better of it. He wrote two words and they conveyed everything. _Fili help! _The note was taken and he was left alone then to recover. He was more than spent, and for the second time in his Moria years, he wept. Wept more bitterly in that moment than any other time that he would in his life.

From that day forward, he would not deny Bolg anything. He would give the orc whatever it wanted, and he was sure someday very soon he would come up with the courage to kill himself, regardless of Fili and his life or death. He just wanted to die.

After receiving the bloody note, Fili did not hear from Kili again, and he wondered if his brother had died from whatever wounds they had inflicted. One day, a messenger came to Fili and gave him a slip of paper. When he opened it, there was the same single word that had been written on that first piece of paper. _Fee?_

Fili was overjoyed once more, and quickly wrote back. _Kee! Thank Mahal you are alive! _There was some time before there was an answer. When it did come it said: _Death takes me? _Fili did not understand this, but he wrote back. _Don't worry Kili. Will get you out soon. Go home to Uncle and Momma. _Again, a short interval before an answer came. Upon the answering paper, there was a single word, and it conveyed utter grief. _Who? _Fili was shattered.

Okay, what do you think? If anything is too crazy, or over the top, let me know. I love to hear from ya'all, so tell me what you think. Thank you so much, I shall see thee upon my return!


	6. Chapter 6

The Despair of Moria Chapter 6

As I go forward with this fic, I realize that it is actually moving along far faster than I thought it would. This is not a bad thing, it is just not what I expected. Anyway, if you like the story, tell me what you think. There are probably only a few chapters left, so tell me what you think so that I can know that I am doing well and giving you what you want to read. Anyway, thanks for reviews, follows and faves. Always appreciated. Please review, I love to hear from you and hear your thoughts. Anyway, forward!

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The dwarf who lived with the orcs in the the Deeps had received a letter from the other one that was hidden away in the Foundations of Stone. Azog studied the dwarf when he gazed upon the letter, and the expression upon his face was precious to the orc. The dwarf had been shattered by something that the other had said. Azog went over and wrested the paper from the dwarf's hand. There was a single word upon it, but it was apparent that that word had meant everything despite the fact that Azog himself did not understand it.

He was close to obliterating them, and he was not sure what he would do with them after they were ruined. Send then back to Oakenshield as broken dolls? Would he take them to the dwarf himself and use them in front of him before he killed them all? Perhaps that was best. The dwarves had been with the orcs for almost seven years, and had shown the greatest of resilience. However it was almost over, and soon, they would succumb to the darkness that was of the making of their people. The despair of Moria, something that they could surely not survive.

He handed the paper back to the dwarf and allowed him to write a reply that was sent off with the messenger. After that, there would be no more replies, or at least he thought not. It was almost over. Soon they would die.

When Kili had sent the letter, he truly did not know or care who Uncle or Momma were. He was lost in a haze of eternal darkness, and his mind was barely his own anymore. He did not care that Bolg violated him anymore, and allowed him what he wanted. He did not care that every so often he was shared as well. When he got the reply from the other dwarf, it said: _You don't remember your family? _Kili stared at these words for a moment and contemplated what they meant. Family? Was he not alone? Even if he were not, he might as well have been. Every time he was raped, every time something new was carved into him. Every time he was left alone with his self hatred...He was alone. Even writing to the other dwarf did not help him now. So he stopped writing.

Then one day, something took over in his mind. He went to the small opening up above the little pool and started clawing at it, trying to pick the rocks away. His hands became raw, and they bled as he scraped them over rock. When he was visited, he hid this as best he could, but would always go back to it once he was alone. It was like a madness! He had to get it open! When the rock finally began to crumble, he couldn't help but smile as more and more of it began to open. He hid the fallen bits at the bottom of the pool and worked whenever he was not otherwise engaged.

The hole was opening for him, and soon it would be wide enough for him to crawl through. He was going to escape!

Fili knew he had said the wrong thing to Kili when he had written back that last reply, and that's what it had been, the last reply, as the letters ceased to come. All Fili could do was hope that Kili was okay...Or at least alive. He wasn't about to give up on Kili. The younger dwarf was stronger than that, and he would survive if he could. It wasn't over yet, though he could feel his own strength waning. So he continued to do his "work" and study the layout of the halls he was allowed into.

One day he noticed a door in a hallway he often passed through. It was a hidden door, for it had never been opened, and only a dwarf could truly see it for what it was. It was not far from where he was kept in one of the halls, so it would be easy to find again, if he could figure out how to open it. One day when he was somewhat unwatched, he went to it and examined the door. There was a lever hidden in the shadow of a nearby pillar that would open it, and he knew than that that was how he would escape, of he could.

He heard footsteps in the hall, and knew that he should take himself away from the door, so he bent and picked up the rock he had been carrying and began to haul again. When he met the orc in the hallway, he was surprised to see it was actually Azog, who stood over him like a great white stone demon. Fili stared up at him for a moment. There was no fear in Fili's eyes. There was actually no emotion at all. That was what made the orc angry. Azog knocked the stone out of the dwarf's hands and grabbed him by the collar of his torn and dirty shirt, hauling him back into the main hall.

Fili was subjected to the cane again, but this time wielded by Azog himself, and the wounds went deep. And as he lay on the ground bleeding, suddenly he felt a terrible stabbing pain as the forks on Azog's reformed "hand" pierced through his shoulder. However, there was no cry of pain as Agog might have wanted. Merely a widening of eyes and gaping mouth. The dwarf would not cry for him anymore. So as he held the tines in the dwarf's shoulder, he leaned into the dwarf's ear and said in his best common, "your brother is a whore. He has serviced my son many times, and a few of his comrades as well. I hear he is very responsive. Maybe I should have a taste of him myself, do you think?"

Again, the widening of eyes and then the expression of hatred and rage. That is what they had been doing to Kili!? Fili could not help himself. He jabbed up his free elbow into the orc's face, catching Azog off guard for a moment. The tines pulled out of Fili's shoulder as the orc fell back for a moment, and Fili attempted to get to his feet to attack the orc, but it only took Azog a moment to regain the upper hand, as he had several of his orc friends who came to his aid as well. Fili was now on his back, staring up at the orc as he was held by others.

"You would attack me, dwarf?!" Azog said again. He spoke to one of his orcs, and the orc produced a knife. _What is going to happen now?_ Fili wondered. He wasn't so much scared, for he knew his life might end this way. Maybe the orc would cut his throat and have done with it. His boot was pulled from his foot again, and Azog held the knife to one of his toes. _He's going to cut off my toes? _Fili thought. But it wasn't so simple, as Azog did not simply cut off his toes. Instead he took one and slowly sawed it off. This got the orc the reaction he wanted as the dwarf cried out in pain. It had only been one toe, but that toe had meant everything. It was possible that even with one such small missing appendage he could be denied his right to be called Thorin's heir, for he was no longer whole, and might even be considered crippled. If he stayed for any longer, he might actually be. He had to get out, and soon.

Azog ordered that he be put away, and he was put in his cage. He would stay there for many days, some of which he would be denied food and water, but he was developing a plan. So having some time to think was somewhat of a blessing, even if his foot did hurt like hell.

Kili ran as fast as he could. The hole had become large enough for him to get through, but his jangling chains gave him away as he attempted to climb from his rocky prison, and they were now after him. He knew what would surely happen if they caught him, so he had to get away or be killed, those were his only two options. But he had never seen anything outside of his prison before and had no idea about anything that was outside of it. So he was running somewhat blindly. There was a lake and many crags, and as he ran, the path seemed to be rising.

He found himself at the bottom of a winding staircase, and the orcs were right behind him, so he decided to follow it, hoping that there would be a ramp or something at the top. As he went up the tower, he saw that the whole cavern was massive, and the lake stretched for what looked like miles. The cavern was lit by the many glowing crystals that hung from the walls, which gave the cavern a strange white glow. And at the top of the tower was not a ramp or exit into the next cave system, but a massive orange stone, Sitting precariously on the edge.

The orcs were right behind him now, and there was nowhere to go but down. He backed away from the orcs, not knowing what to do. There was nothing on the other side of the tower, only a dark abyss with no bottom that could be seen. Still there was nowhere else to go, so Kili backed toward it. Was this how he was going to die? He clenched his fists and stood upon the edge, ready to jump. But the orcs made it easy for him when one of them picked up a rack and threw it at his head. It glanced off his temple, and he fell backwards into the abyss. The orc went over and pick up the rock that had not fallen. It had a good amount of blood on it, and he knew just what to do with it.

Fili was still secluded to his cage when the messenger came. At first he was hopeful that it was another note, but then the messenger dropped a rock at the side of the cage. Fili looked at it and realized, with some horror, that there was blood on it. The orc leaned over and said quietly, "dwarf scum is dead." and then walked away. Fili's heart broke, but he did not weep. He simply stared into the darkness, and all feeling left him then as he realized that he was really and truly alone now. It was every dwarf for himself now.

Okay tell me what you think! Too much? Not enough? Anyway, next chapter will be soon. Hopefully things will get better for Fili, now that he's alone and all. Cheers!


	7. Chapter 7

The Despair of Moria Chapter 7

Hello all! Angain, a great thank you for reading, I greatly appreciate it! We're getting down to business here now, and soon, things are going to change in a way that can be seen as both good and not so good. So off we go!

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Azog had decided that Fili needed more punishment, so he cut two toes off of each foot, the pinkie toe and the middle toe. This meant that the dwarf was out of commission for quite a while, and was kept in his cage for a long time. During that time he did everything he could to try and avoid getting some kind of infection, attempting to keep the wounds as clean as possible, which was all he could do. Also, his thoughts went to Kili every so often. Could they be lying to him about his brother's death? The red blood upon the rock made it clear that it was not orc blood. It was definitely Kili's blood. That did not mean that he was dead though. Then he realized that keeping this hope alive was only holding him back, for if Kili were alive, he had promised they would escape together. Now that Kili was "gone", there was no reason why he shouldn't escape himself...Alone...

He decided the next chance he got, he was going to take it. When he finally got out of the cage, he found walking exceedingly difficult, as he would have to get used to walking without the toes he had lost. It was odd at first, as he noticed with every step that they were gone. He had to train himself to ignore the missing digits. He had to steel himself, and he did, learning to walk without his missing toes. When the time came, he would have to run. He knew he could if he tried.

And his opportunity came sooner than he might have thought. Recently, he had noticed another hulking orc hanging around in the hall. It seemed to have it's eyes on him when it thought he was not looking. It was a great ugly thing, with sickly green skin and many scars. Fili was very much reminded of Azog when he saw this orc. Were they somehow related? Then a thought came to Fili about what Azog had said to him earlier when he spoke about Kili. That Kili had been with his son on several occasions. This made him sick to think on, but think on it he must. Was this Azog's son? The one who had raped Kili?

So Fili took to watching the orc, and several times they noticed each other watching but did nothing. Azog had gone off into the tunnels again, and was gone for a while. Fili knew that when Azog was gone, the others were not to touch Fili, but the dwarf knew that that was no guarantee. That was especially made clear when one day, the orc came to him. The orc that he thought had violated and probably murdered his brother. The thing touched his shoulder and he winced at the touch, not out of pain or fear, but more out of disgust than anything. The orc had begun to speak to him, and he didn't know what the orc was going on about, but when the word "Kili" reached his ears, he knew his suspicious were true. This orc knew his brother's name, knew Kili. Fili's blood was boiling and he wanted nothing more than to turn his head and rip the creature's neck open with his teeth.

The creature continued to touch him as Fili tried to keep his cool. What did the orc want from him? It continued to talk to Fili and tell him things. Then Fili knew why he was here. The orc had been denied his pleasure slave upon the death of Kili. He was looking for a new one, and Fili was the next best thing. Fili reached up and brushed the orc's hand away from his shoulder, but the orc just put it back. Fili slapped at the hand.

This was a mistake, for the next thing he knew, he was being flung heavily to the ground, the orc pinning him there on his stomach. Fili began to struggle, yelling at the orc, "No! I am Azog's alone!". The orc paid him no mind and went about pulling down the tattered pants before him. Fili cried out as he felt something push into him. It was a finger, but even that was greatly uncomfortable in that virginal place. The orc moved it within him, causing the dwarf no end of misery. It was a show for the other orcs around, who were watching intently. The finger was pulled out, and the orc was about to mount him when suddenly, Fili found a hand at the collar of his shirt again, and he was lifted and thrown away, landing several feet away from the orc.

It had been Azog that had thrown him away, and when he did, the goblins and orcs in the hall fled as Azog stood and yelled wildly at Bolg, who seemed to be standing his ground. Fili, who was being ignored at the moment, pulled up his pants and watched for a mere second, but he knew this was his chance. He began to crawl over to the wall where he had seen the secret door. The orcs were still yelling into each other's faces, so they did not know that the dwarf had slipped into the dark corner. That he had pulled the hidden lever and opened the door. That he disappeared behind it.

Fili had not been able to reclose the door completely, because a couple of rocks had fallen down in the way, but he just thanked god that it wasn't noticed, and also that it was closed enough to hide him. Once on the other side, he got to his feet and began to run walk down the path on the other side. At first there was no pursuit, and Fili found himself moving up toward the stairs that would lead him to the upper levels. Then he heard the shrieking, yet guttural call of Azog, and he knew that his absence had been notices. There were orc voices coming in his direction, and he began to run up the stairs.

Fili didn't know where he was going, or if there was in fact anyplace to go. He picked paths at random and ran as quickly as he was able merely trying to lose his pursuers. If he could not escape them, he would make them have to kill him; he was not going back to Azog. He raced across a giant hall of stone that was open and wide. _This must be the Twenty-First Hall. _He thought. He never thought he would see it in his life, and wished he could have taken some more time there, but the chase was on, and they were getting near. So he ran across the hall and into a nearby passage. One passage seemed to lead to the next, and soon, he came out into what can only be considered...A garden?

Trees grew high in the strange green light, and Fili had ti shield his eyes from it. It might have been beautiful, but he had no time to observe it, for the orcs were close, in the next corridor perhaps. He had to find a place to hide! He didn't know why, but he went to one of the walls nearby, and there he saw a small crevasse. If he could hide himself inside, the orcs probably wouldn't find him. So he tried to put himself in, and on the other side was a great space, so the wall was merely a divider between them. The problem was, Fili was stuck! He couldn't get through, and the orcs were close at hand. So he pushed and pushed as hard as he could, using his wounded feet to push against the ground outside the crevasse to try and get in. Just a little bit more...Please?...Finally, he popped through the opening and tumbled onto the grass on the other side. He peeked out the opening. The orcs were on the other side, but they did not seem to think he was there, so they moved on. He heaved a sigh of relief. He was free of the orcs, for now, but not free.

Fili had made a home for himself in the caves on the other side of the stone veneer. The orcs did not come on this side of it, and so he thought himself safe, for the most part. He ate the frogs, snakes and other creatures that seemed to live back there, despite the fact that he sometimes felt guilty about it. In all truth, the hope had returned to his heart and he felt a lightness of heart that he had not felt in years, despite the fact that he was still alone in this hole in the ground and was nearly starving.

He did not dwell on that though. He merely thought about how he was going to escape Moria. Escaping the orcs was a great accomplishment, but getting out was going to be complicated. He did not know much about the layout f Moria, and did not know how the orcs positioned themselves within it. So trying to find an easy road was impossible and trying to find any road at all would have to be done with a lot of reconnaissance, and he was not sure if he wanted to leave his safe cave yet to try and do that.

So he waited. For what he was not sure. He had to think of something soon though, or he would die, even without Azog's help. The a thought came to him. It was one that he had had before, but he had not considered it since. Within the Great Delving was the Chamber of Knowledge. If he could find that place, maybe amongst the documents there might be a map of Khazad-Dum. It was worth a shot, but still he was not sure if he wanted to venture out yet. So he stayed in that safe place, feeding off the animals, bathing in the hot pools, and laying upon the soft mosses.

He had gone off to "hunt" one day. He needed a frog or a snake or something to put in his belly, for he was quite hungry that day. Thankfully, luck was with him that day, and he brought five frogs and a snake back to the cave he called home. When he entered, he immediately knew something was wrong. There was a presence, and then he saw the form that that presence came from. A tall spindly creature shrouded in shadow. Fili retreated toward the cave opening. Was this a goblin who had somehow gotten into his hiding place? The thing moved and came more into the light, but the face was still hidden by shadow. However, Fili knew it was observing him.

Then it spoke. One word that conveyed everything. "Fee?"

Okay guys, tell me what you think! Please review! Always nice to hear from you! Cheers.


	8. Chapter 8

The Despair of Moria Chapter 8

Hello all! How goes it?! Thank you for reading, I appreciate it greatly. If you like what you see, have questions, comment, suggestions, whatever, please leave a review and I will get to you as soon as possible. Feedback is always helpful and useful, so if you like it! Anyway time to get going on this. Know I have been gone for a bit. Very busy working on my last term in college, so hopefully I will find more time soon! Thank you so much and cheers!

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"Fee?"

Fili dropped his meager collection of food and stared into the darkness. He thought he would never hear that name spoken in that voice again. "Kili?"

"Fili..." Kili stepped out of the shadows, and Fili was taken aback when he saw the massive dark scar over Kili's left eye. It must have been where they had struck him with the rock. "I found you, Fili."

"Yes you did, Kili. They told me you were dead."

"Almost," Kili said. He stepped forward again and almost collapsed. Fili was there to catch him though. He helped Kili to sit against the nearby, moss covered wall. Fili sat down next to him. "I haven't been feeling so well since they hit me with that rock." Kili told him. "Sometimes, I fall and I pass out. It did something to me, Fili."

"I am sorry. It is my fault. I never should have believed what they told me."

"Why not? They believed it themselves. I'm dead Fili!"

"Don't say that!" Fili told him. "Don't ever say that..."

"I know I shouldn't. Yet somehow..."

"How did you come to be here, Kili?"

"Well when I fell they thought me dead and did not come after me. I did fall into unconsciousness, but when I woke up, I found myself in the strangest of places..."

When Kili woke after being hit with the rock, he found himself in one of the strangest places. He lay in a pile of filth, for that was all it could be called. The orcs called this place Skumfil, but to Kili, it was merely a massive cesspool of refuse. There was feces, wasted food, and the bodies of the dead. Everything there was decidedly filthy, including Kili who had laid there for quite some time. He had to find a way out of this place, so he began to walk along one of the paths that did exist in that place. There were no guards in this place, but orcs did scamper around occasionally to dispose of more refuse. Kili was able to easily hide from them, and they never knew he was there.

He finally found a way out of that cavern into one that blazed like fire. He knew that he could not stay in that place, for he would be too exposed. So he made his way as quickly as he could in the direction he thought there might be an exit. Unfortunately he suffered from his first fainting fit, and fell unconscious in the middle of the path. Thankfully, no one came to disturb him and when he woke, he simply moved on. He did not know from what round-about way he had come to this place. He had taken many paths and slipped into many a crevice to avoid orcs, so he had no idea. Over the course of his travels he had had several more fainting incidents but came out of them alright. When he entered this cavern and saw Fili for the first time, his heart sang for the first time in many a year. He would be okay. He and Fili could now escape together as he had always known they would. They would escape.

"So when I came into this cavern, and then you appeared, I knew I was safe, and that we could escape together as we had always planned." Kili said.

Kili rested his head upon Fili's shoulder. Fili said, "lay your head in my lap, you can sleep in peace now, brother." Kili did so and Fili hummed to him a lullaby, one that they both knew and had once loved. Kili, feeling safe for the first time in years, fell asleep. Fili followed soon after him.

Fili and Kili continued to live in this hidden grotto behind the stone facade. They hunted the creatures and ate them and bathed in the warm pools. The first time Kili saw Fili's feet, he said nothing, but the sympathy in his eyes was apparent. When Fili saw Kili's back, his reaction was slightly different. "He did this to you, didn't he? That vicious creature, the one who is the child of Azog."

"The child of Azog? In all truth, there is little kinship among them, as orcs go." Kili told him. "He may be the spawn of Azog's ancestry, but he does not have a family. Not the way we do."

"You remember then?" Fili said hopefully.

"I do..."

"I was so worried, so many times. That you would die of grief before they killed you."

"Maybe I did..." Kili said as he gazed off into the nothingness for a moment. "Maybe I'm not even here."

"You are here, Kili. _We_ are here."

Kili smiled at him. "I know."

As the days passed, Kili became worried about Fili because he did not sleep very much. In fact, Fili had adopted this as a survival tactic, for he knew if he slept for too long, a rude awakening was in his future. Fili, on the other hand, was worried about Kili because he slept too much. Again a survival tactic to escape pain and boredom. Kili continued to have his fainting fits at random intervals. Fili knew that something was very wrong with his brother's head. While he seemed completely competent, Kili had taken to sitting and staring for long periods. Fili could tell in those moments that he saw nothing, but his mind was engaged with something. What could it be? When he asked, there was no answer, as if Kili could not remember.

As time passed, thing only got worse for Kili, and Fili knew that after so many years, Kili's body was failing him. He slept more and his periods of nothingness were growing more and more. Fili tried to think of some way to get out. If it were just he alone, he might have been able to sneak to the First Hall and slip by whoever guarded that place, however, there was the bridge to consider, and now that he had Kili with him, it would be almost impossible.

Then he remembered something Balin had told him in his meager lessons about Moria. There was a door that led out onto the side of the mountain that led to the caves not accessible within the the walls of Moria. He could not remember what the caves were, they had a function but he did not know what, but that was not the point. If the door was hidden, the orcs might not know about it, and if it led onto the side of the mountain, it was perhaps possible to escape onto Caradras. Fili had no idea where this door might be though. Again, he would have to try and find a way to the Chamber of Knowledge and see of there was a map.

Fili snuck out one day while Kili was sleeping. He found what appeared to be a safe path to what he hoped would be The Great Delving. On his way, he passed many chambers, and heard the voices of orcs, but did not see them. He passed a chamber with a great well within it, but did not stop to look. He had found that if he held the chains upon his ankles up and the ones upon his wrists tight in place, he could move rather quietly. His feet gave him trouble as well, but he made his way, and finally looked around the corner into a massive open space. The Great Delving...

He scanned the room for movement, voices, anything, but there was nothing, so he made his way across. And then he saw it; another hidden door in the side of a great wall. Once again, only a dwarf would know it was there. He went to it, finding the lever on the side, and pulled the door open. It was The Chamber of Knowledge. It was in some disrepair, and papers and books were strewn about the room. He looked as quickly as he could at as much as he could, and then he found it, a dusty map that said clearly upon it "Map of Khaza-Dum". He was more than delighted, and wanted to sing and dance. However, he heard something outside. A contingent of goblins were making their way across the Delving and toward the Twenty-First Hall. He would have to wait until they had passed by and hoped that Kili would continue to sleep and not worry.

It took some great amount of time, but the goblins passed by, and Fili went on his way. When he returned to the garden, he found Kili sitting up and staring at the entrance to the cave. At first he thought Kili was in one of his states, but then Kili said, "You went off without me..."

"I know. I had to."

"Did you? I was worried..."

"I'm sorry, Kili, but look what I found!"

Kili got up and came over. When he saw the map, he was overjoyed. They studied it together, and when they saw where the secret door was, they both rejoiced.

"It will not be easy, despite the fact that it is not far from here, " Fili said.

"Yes, but we can make it! I know we can!"

Fili hoped that Kili was right.

The snow lay heavily on the side of the mountain, and it was difficult to push the great stone door open. Fili who had found it and pulled the lever struggled to push it open. When it was open, he and Kili stepped out into the light and shielded their eyes from glare of sun and snow. They had made it, and Kili gave a wide smile as he stepped out onto the mountain side.

Unfortunately, there joy was fleeting, for voices came from behind them, and they knew they had been followed. So they ran as best they could as several orcs had now given chase. They ran as fast as they could manage in chains and broken feet, and finally...They came to a drop. Fili looked over it and it seemed like a very long way to fall. They had to make a choice, then and there. To be captured again, and probably killed this time, or to choose the manner of their own death and fall from that place.

The orcs were getting closer. "Kili?" Fili questioned as he looked at his brother with defeated eyes. Kili merely nodded, and was the first to jump. Fili followed after, and the orcs knew they had lost their quarry to the mountainside.

So nest chapter we are going to see some new characters come into the story, and I promise, I will be back soon. Thank you so much, I shall see thee upon my return! STS...


	9. Chapter 9

The Despair of Moria Chapter 9

This chapter starts on some characters that have not been used before. It will fit together though, and hopefully it will make sense. Anyway, off we go!

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_Many years before..._

_ When Dwalin and Balin gave Thorin the news that Fili and Kili had been lost, he was beyond upset. He was beyond anger and grief. Fili was meant to be Thorin's heir, for he had no children of his own and doubted that fatherhood would ever be in his future. Also he had always been there for them, watched them grow, had taken care of them. He could not help but curse himself for not having been able to go with them when they made the journey to the East. _

_ "How did this happen?" He asked, his tone was calm and even, but the seething was apparent. The two elder dwarves did not quite know how to approach this._

_ "The caravan was on it's way back when we were attacked by goblins in Eregion. There was no helping it, they took many, and killed most, but they kept Fili and Kili." Dwalin said. "It was already too late by the time we had caught up. They took the boys into Moria."_

_ "Into Moria?" Thorin questioned. "Why to Moria?"_

_ "I don't know." Dwalin said. "I would have been sure that they were goblins from the Misty Mountains."_

_ "The two factions owe each other no allegiance, so the question would be, why?" Thorin said, bemused._

_ "There's no understanding the minds of goblins," said Balin. "There's no logic in them."_

_ "So it is. We must go after them," Thorin said._

_ Both Balin and Dwalin looked at him in utter shock. "What is that Thorin?" Balin asked._

_ "We must go after them."_

_ "We cannot do that." Dwalin said pointedly. "Thorin, I know it pains you, but Fili and Kili were taken into Moria. There'll be no getting them out. You could storm the gates with ten thousand dwarves and not get foot one inside the First Hall. There are too many of them, and they know the halls of Moria better than we. We cannot risk so many lives to save two lost dwarves."_

_ "Also I am sorry to say that they may already be dead." Balin said with a heavy sigh. "And if they are not, they probably should be, as it would be a kindness to them. We cannot go and get them."_

_ Thorin bowed his head in sadness. He had failed once more to protect those he loved. However, Balin was not done yet. "There is something else you should consider Thorin. With Fili and Kili gone, and Dis not likely to marry again, you, as king, are left without heirs."_

_ "Is this really the time to talk about marriage?" Thorin said darkly._

_ "Perhaps not, but it is something you should think on, Thorin."_

_ "Thank you, Balin, Dwalin. Please leave me for a while. You should inform Dis, it will kill her, but she needs to grieve. And grieve she will. She has lost a husband and two sons."_

_ Balin and Dwalin left Thorin to his grief, shutting the study door behind them. Thorin was not prone to outward shows of anger, but angry he was, and he took it out by putting a hole in a nearby wall of wood. He merely ended up hurting himself, but he tried to tell himself that it had made him feel better about his failure..._

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The elves often watched the passes that led into the Misty Mountains, for they lay not too far from their refuge of Rivendell. Mostly few things passed through there, and if they did, it was mostly goblins that they disposed of immediately, but today was different. Farian, one of the mountain guards saw something coming out of the mist up the path. He got the attention of the two other guards in the pass, and they all hid nearby and watched as the figure grew closer.

"Is it a goblin?" Reven the guard asked.

"No indeed," said Farian.

"Then what?" Said Andriel the guard.

"I don't know..." Farian said.

As the figure got closer, he was able to make it out a bit better. It was in fact two figures, and one was leaning heavily on the other. They were bruised, bloodied and ragged, but there was no doubt as to who they were.

"A pair of dwarves..." Farian said in wonder.

"What should we do?" Asked Andriel.

"Well we have to help them, of course!" Farian said.

"They look quite feral." Reven said. "What if they try to hurt us?"

"Then we must be careful. It is our duty to help people, be they feral dwarves or otherwise. And it looks like they need help desperately."

When the elves approached, the dwarves in fact did not respond well. The blond one holding up the other one took a combative stance and immediately began to resist.

"Stay away from us!" He cried. "Stay back!"

However the dwarf was weaponless, and it actually took little effort to overpower him and take the other dwarf who was clinging to his back away from him. At this he fought even harder, finding a strength he did not know he had as he tried to escape the one holding him and get to his brother. "No! Give Kili back! You can't have him!"

Kili had already passed out in the arms of the elf holding him, and the elf started down the path with him. Fili was brought along behind, kicking and screaming the whole way.

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Kili was sleeping in a warm, comfortable bed in a room that was brightly lit by the sun coming in through many windows. He was clean, and the wounds that could be healed had been healed. However, he had slept log and would not wake, which worried everyone, not the least of which was Fili. Fili sat nearby on a small sofa with a tall, elegant, regal elf sitting by his side. AT first he did not know what to say to this elf lord, but soon he found the courage to speak. "Lord Elrond, I thank you for healing me and my brother. We were in desperate need. I am also sorry that I was so uncooperative when your elves first brought us here. We had spent many years in captivity, and it is not in the nature of dwarves to trust elves these day."

"It is indeed so, but I would have us be friends, Fili, son of Dis." Elrond said with a slight smile.

"I would have that too." Fili replied. "My brother...Will he be alright?"

"We have done all we can for him, it is greatly miraculous that he lasted so long. That you both did, in fact. His body will heal as much as it can. I have tried to heal the wounding to his head, but I cannot say whether he will recover fully."

"Could you do anything about the scars upon his back?"

"Sadly no. They will be there forever. A painful memory, I know."

"I hate to ask this, but do you know what they mean?" Fili asked timidly.

"I do know that language, but I loathe to speak or read it. I will not say the words in that language, but I will try and tell you their meaning. One says "dog", also there is "whore" and the last one I believe is a name. Someone claimed him."

"Yes," said Fili sadly. "I know who."

"I am sorry for your pain." The elf said, sympathy in his eyes.

"So am I..."

That day, Fili sent a letter to Ered Luin to let his Uncle and mother know that they were alive. There would probably be a massive amount of shock at the discovery, but he would be glad to know that they knew that he and Kili had survived. Kili soon woke, and was scared at first to find himself in unfamiliar surroundings, but Fili was there to help him overcome it. Since Kili was feeling better, they talked more about what had happened to them, and there were parts they agreed that they would never share with others. Only they as brothers would know the full story of what befell them in Moria.

A letter came back a couple of weeks later, and it was from Ered Luin. It said that Thorin would come to Rivendell personally and take them back home. Both of the young dwarves were overjoyed at this. When Thorin finally arrived, there were a few awkward moments between he and the elves, but it all turned out for the best. When he saw Fili and Kili again, the smile that came to his face was beyond joyous. Fili went to him and Thorin hugged him fiercely. "I knew you were alive. I always knew it."

"I have missed you Uncle. How is mother?"

"Your mother is fine. When she heard you were alive, she almost broke my arms she hugged me so tight. Probably will do so to you when she sees you."

"I am sure she will, Uncle." Fili laughed.

Kili, on the other hand, was being a bit meek, and Thorin had to go to him and take him gently into his arms. Kili returned the hug when it finally felt safe. "Kili. How I have missed you. How I have missed both so much." Thorin released Kili from the hug, and Kili gave him a little smile.

"I have missed you as well, Uncle Thorin."

"Ten years is such a long time to be away from those you love and have worried about." Thorin said.

"Ten years?!" Kili said in disbelief. The two brothers looked at each other in dismay.

"Yes." Thorin said. "It has been ten years."

The two brothers said nothing more about it, but Thorin knew that this revelation had caused them some hurt.

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They spent the night in Rivendell, but Thorin decided to make the trip back as soon as possible. Since the earlier revelation of ten years had surfaced things had been a little strange, and for a time, Fili and Kili only talked amongst themselves. Thorin guessed that they must be trying to figure out how so much time had lapsed, sine they probably didn't have access to any gauge of time. Then Fili came to him, and it was clear that now he wanted to talk.

"Fili, how are you doing?" Thorin asked.

"I'll live," the young dwarf said somewhat dreamily.

"And what brings you here?"

"I thought we should talk." Fili said.

"What would you like to talk about?" Thorin asked.

"I may not be able to be your heir anymore. My body is no longer whole, the orcs took a few toes from me." Fili said, now dejectedly.

Thorin gave him a little smile and said, "I would not put you out as heir for simply missing a few toes, Fili. You are my nephew, and as long as you are upright and mobile, you will be my heir. You shall always be my nephew, and I shall always be there for you. If anything, I am sorry that I was not there for you before. To save you from this."

"There would have been nothing you could have done, Thorin. You probably would have been taken too, and we would be without king or heirs. Our escape was sheer luck. If circumstances had been different..."

"How whole is Kili?" Thorin asked.

"He is whole in body, but there are hurts troubling him that you will never see or know of. A wound to the head causes him to pass out at times, and he has been put through the wringer. He has things carved into his back, in their language. We will never tell people what they mean, and it is best if you do not know either."

"I understand." Thorin said.

"Kili and I had quite different experiences. He will probably never tell you all that happened, and if he did, the shame would probably kill him." Fili gave a lingering sigh.

"It is not your fault." Thorin said. "Kili did what he had to do to survive. I can certainly understand that. Neither of you have done anything wrong."

"I have so missed you." Fili said. "So many times, I longed to see you, mother. Hear your voices. I wondered if I ever would again."

"Don't worry Fili. You are safe now, and soon we will return home."

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Thorin, Fili and Kili returned home. Upon seeing her two lost sons, Dis took them in her arms and almost refused to let them go. She had them again, and she hoped that they would go back to the old days where they were always by her and Thorin's side. She would certainly never let them go adventuring again. However it was soon very clear that the two young dwarves that had gone away were not the two young dwarves that stood before her now. The sadness that resided in their eyes and the scars that lay upon their bodies told the story of long years in the darkness.

Dis would take care of them as a mother should, and try to sooth and heal them as much as she could. She would protect them from now on and keep them safe from the world's hurts. If only things were so easy. For a few short years later, a wizard would visit Thorin with a map and a key which had been in the possession of Thrain before he died. Soon the time would come again for questing as Thorin would seize the chance to reclaim Erebor.

The End

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Okay ladies and gents! That's all she wrote for this one! Now I am thinking of a quest time sequel to this baby, so let me know what you think of this one and whether or not you want to see that sequel! Please, comments and feedback are always welcome! If you have a question, a suggestion, a thought, a need, a want, a complaint, tell me about it! I won't know if you don't tell me. Anyway, thanks for the faves and follows, always appreciated. Hoped you liked this one, tell me if you want to see round two!


	10. Chapter 10 Author's note

Hello all! I have decided to make this little note because I have decided to go ahead and do the sequel to this story. It will not be rated "M", probably "T", and it will cover everything up until the end of the quest for The Lonely Mountain. I will get that started ASAP and try to get back to _Peace for the Wandering Soul _as well, but sort of swamped at the moment. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that that will be coming along with something else dark as well, so anyway, I shall see thee all upon my return! Cheers, and I hope that you have enjoyed this adventure, and shall continue to enjoy. Reviews are always nice, and feel free to fave and follow! This one may be finished, but you might help someone else find it and they might enjoy it as well! Anyway, cheers for now, I will return! STS


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